


Finding Home

by abstractserenity



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Elevator Sex, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Wall Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-18 22:36:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13109922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abstractserenity/pseuds/abstractserenity
Summary: This is the feeling that guides Rey to Kylo's side, where she discovers how the ambiguity of identity, love, and the Force interconnect.





	Finding Home

**Author's Note:**

> My take on the elevator scene with some liberties added. Hope you enjoy!

A breath, nothing, then a sharp uptake of air through her throat. This is the feeling that guided Rey across the galaxy to stand now at Kylo’s side. Or was it Ben? His identity oscillates so much between the two, she thinks, that perhaps it did not matter, and yet light within him rises to meet hers with each step she takes with him, even in the heart of the First Order.

She matches Ben’s stride as black-clad officers and Stormtroopers march past. The corridors of this fortress suffocate with their atmosphere, so much so the movement of the Force sits stale, contrary to its ebb and flow. Only his energy flitters about despite the tension she notices straining his broad frame and the tightness in the grip he has on her arm.

They reach a set of metal doors left unguarded. He stretches out to press a button that is soon followed by the heave and clank of each before pressing yet another to close it behind them. The elevator jolts up in an instant, leaving the lights surrounding Rey flickering in her periphery, but her attention is far more drawn to the solid presence of the man beside her. It leaves little doubt that his physicality intensifies the connection, one that weaves between the spaces between matter and consciousness, giving form and feeling to his emotions and ideas. Now, she can feel the lump in his throat, how his index fingers circle his thumbs on each hand. She turns to face him, leaving only a modicum of space between them.

His hazel eyes meet her gaze first, and the emotion mirrored there ignites in her chest and trickles through the cord joining them. Her palms grow clammy, but she refuses to let him see any more than what he can already.

‘When we touched, I saw your future, Ben,’ she whispers. ‘You stand with me. You choose the light.’

His face remains stoic, but through the cord between, his pulse quickens, and she fights the urge to place a hand over his heart.

‘You have a choice. No conflict, just peace.’ She leans in. ‘You’ll turn. I can help you.’

He watches her, just watches, and the struggle within resonates through her, a thrumming beat. Ben’s lips pull into a frown, but she feels the knowing behind it—she doesn’t have him.

Not yet, at the very least.

‘I saw something, too.’ He stares down at her, eyes half-lidded. ‘You turning and standing at my side.’

She peers at him, suddenly aware of the heat radiating from him. After a moment of debate, she takes his hand in hers, fighting against the tingle flickering up her arm.

‘And we can have that,’ she says, ‘but why do you say it like what we saw was so different?’

His fingers escape her hold and begin to lightly stroke her arm. ‘They aren’t.’

‘Then…?’

‘I sense your thoughts, Rey. I know you think I can be redeemed, become pure. It’s magical thinking.’

She rips her arm away, but guilt slams into her when Ben’s hurt signals on the other side of the bond. ‘How is that magical thinking?’

He steps back. ‘Because nothing is absolute.’

‘Then your vision is no different. I will _never_ turn.’

The bastard’s expression stays blank. ‘You will. The same loneliness that eats at you eats me, and the light has no room for that.’

‘Rubbish. That means nothing.’

‘It means everything. You and I are the in-between, but it’s a temporary state,’ he says, prowling toward her once more. Her back brushes the wall, and all she can comprehend are his lips hovering inches from hers. ‘One must give way to the other.’

His breath tickles her cheeks, reverberating through her, and as she places a tentative hand on his shoulder, the band snaps.

Their lips clash and with it the bond. His fingers trail beneath her shirt to brush the skin there, and the shock of it presses her mouth more firmly against his, yet his frame hunches as if to hold himself back. She frowns inwardly. She would be having none of that.

His mouth is plush, soft, and searching. Through glimpses, she can feel the sensations her lips yield from his, fuelling the warmth building in the pit of her stomach. He hoists her up and crushes her to the wall, where her hands begin exploring the expanse of him. His hands rove over her sides, fanning the flame within her, before plucking at a covered nipple. A gasp breaks free from her, and it is all the encouragement he needs to part the fabric and take one into his mouth. Pleasure shocks through her at the feeling of his circling tongue.

‘ _Ben_ ,’ she half-moans, angling her chest. He nibbles.

Her body jolts and brushes against a hardness as he turns his focus toward divesting her of her clothing. As he tosses her shirt aside, she takes a chance to palm him, stroking up and down, and revels in the muffled gasp it elicits from him. Her fingers slip past his waistband and take hold.

His cock feels as thick and long as she thought it would. The skin there is velvet to the touch, and the very thought of him thrusting into heats her cheeks, and she tightens her grip on his shaft, pumping him. His resulting groan boils her veins. Emboldened, she knots her other hand into his hair and pulls his face to meet hers to part his lips with her tongue.

His tongue meets hers for a moment before retreating behind his lips, their mouths meeting a second later. His hands fumble at her pants and somehow manages to yank them over her hips in his frenzy, falling to the ground soon after. Ben’s gaze prowls over her before peering back at her face, and lust, the hunger causes her to rub her thighs to resist the arousal.

Naked and vulnerable, she stands and wonders why and how the kriff he can stand there clothed.

She has no time to contemplate the thought as Ben closes the gap and grapples at his belts. He succeeds seconds later, his cock springing free. She has no time to examine the length of him before he positions her hips, fingers hovering close to her core. He holds her gaze as he slips two into her while flicking her clit, and shutting her eyes in that instant is all she can do. Pressure mounts in her core with every thrust, and when he hits a spot inside her, she screams.

‘There!’ Her nails embed in his upper arm, but he thrusts harder, the pain fuelling rather than inhibiting. Through her moans, she can hear him panting in time, the sound tempting her closer to the edge.

He curls his fingers several more times before the knot of pleasure snaps within her. Her cry ripples out into the Force, and she senses it shocking within him, too, as the waves of sensation roll through her. His digits slips out of her, wet with her come, and she takes this chance to wrap her legs around his hips. He shivers and shoves her against the wall, the force of it lining the tip of his shaft against her entrance.

Tendrils of the bond thicken, binding through the physical contact of their bodies. Images flit through her head, too fast for comprehension, as he penetrates her.

Everything roars to clarity.

— _Rey bent over, begging, moans echoing—_

_—tight, her eyes, her hair, smile—_

_—breasts bouncing, the scar, shame, shame, yes—_

Her cheeks redden at the images and the melding of mind to mind. Fear, awe, passion. Did she truly have that much of an effect?

These emotions lined his essence, but where she feels with the Force, everything transmutes to stillness, and all that stays in focus is Ben’s heavy breathing and the pain of their joining. She clenches her teeth against the pain. Silence resounds as she peers upward. His brow is furrowed, his breathing heavy, and sliver of guilt, _his_ guilt, stretches out to her.

Her hand touches his cheek. The stray hairs scratch at her palm as she strokes, and he settles his face in the crook of her neck, resuming his thrusts.

With the slap of their skin and their moans echoing in the elevator around them, several thoughts break through. Once the greatest of her enemies now stands as perhaps the only person to ever reflect, empathise, _know_ the effects of a thousand restless days and nights of scavenging, of falling to sleep hungry for food, company, purpose.

How? How had everything come to this?

‘Let me in,’ she murmurs in his ear as he comes. Power. This is her power.

‘ _I love you_ ,’ he breathes against her throat. The words ebb likewise through the Force, and the truth of them hitch the air in her chest.

 _Leave with me_ , she thinks back, too lost in him to say it aloud. He leans into her, panting.

‘I can’t, Rey,’ Ben mumbles against her shoulders and slams her out. Rey feels lost within her own body as he then untangles himself, placing her gently on the floor, and rearranges his pants without ceremony.

Despite the ground firm beneath her feet, a precipice looms in front of her while she dresses herself once more, silence threading itself between them, in the Force. The doors before them slam open just as she straightens her shirt.

She grabs his arm, heart in her throat. ‘Don’t do this, Ben. Please.’

Wordlessly, he takes hold of her wrist and guides her through the door, avoiding her searching gaze.

Snoke awaits.

 

-

 

A month and an age pass between their last moment and the next his energy brushes Rey’s. The sensation tingles through her awareness as she rounds the corner to meet the vestiges of the Resistance in some dugout base, the name of which she had long since forgotten. Longing singes her, morphing into a rock in her lungs.

Gritting her teeth, she gathers all her mental weight and slams him out. Her muscles begin to relax once more, but emptiness nonetheless sinks into her bones.

Hairs on the nape of her neck rise, and she swivels to Leia observing her, expression indiscernible.

‘Is my boy still in there?’ comes Leia’s question, and Rey searches herself for an answer she has been wondering herself during her sleepless nights.

‘I don’t know. I thought…’ She clears her throat. ‘The light is there. That’s all I can say.’

To her surprise, Leia smiles. ‘That’s all we need.’

Rey stares down at her hands where he last touched her skin and whispered ‘I love you’. The weight of Leia’s gaze returns, and she tenses her shoulders.

‘What did he teach you?’

The question tickles her ears and sinks into her chest, restricting her breath. Flashes flood her senses, and its mosaic refuses to coalesce, make sense. All that emerges is the moment their fingertips brushed, revealing a future not yet manifest.

Her eyes snap up to Leia’s haze irises, so like his, and she rouses her courage.

‘Nothing.’ _And everything._

She steps forward.


End file.
